Monday, 28 January 2013

Day Fifty Three - Light at the end of the tunnel

The worse thing about feeling this bad after my last chemo session, is knowing that I've got to go through it all again after I've had my stomach operation. This first time, not knowing how I was going to react has been a kind of safety net. I can take each day at a time and just deal with my symptoms as I go along. Knowing I'm going to feel this shit again in the future is bobbins. I'm actually not that worried about the operation now, as the pain and discomfort from that will mean me taking drugs to make me FEEL better, whereas chemo just makes you feel worse, until your body builds up a tolerance and you can crawl out of bed without having a complete breakdown.

Anyway, so now I've only got 14 days of chemo drugs left. Waytogo! After that, I'm already lined up for the next round of tests and prodding to see how much the tumour has shrunk. Then hopefully straight into the operation to remove the tumour. Then between 6 and 10 weeks to recover, then the dreaded chemo again to mop up any remaining cells. Choose life.

Beechwood again today. Dad took me as I wasn't fit to drive. Lovely session as usual. Nice massage, relaxing lunch, then a session on the sofa while Marion took us to a relaxing place. I didn't fall asleep this time, which was unusual. I'm sleeping ok for the time being, although do get the occasional sweats, lovely.

Food is tasting better, but still off coffee again. Bought some Ginger Nut biscuits today as one of the volunteers at Beechwood said it helped with the sickly feeling. Eaten nearly a whole packet tonight and feel a little sick :)

Time for bed xx

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